Marriage Adrift

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 Marriages rarely collapse suddenly.

They drift quietly—through silence, avoidance, fatigue, and unmet emotional needs.

What often feels like “nothing is wrong” is actually something important being ignored.

This self-assessment is not about blame.
It is not about fault-finding.
It is about awareness.




Awareness is the first step toward repair.

Answer honestly.
This is for you.

HOW TO ANSWER

For each statement, select the option that best reflects your experience in the last 3–6 months.

  • 0 — Not true

  • 1 — Sometimes true

  • 2 — Often true

  • 3 — Very true

THE SELF-ASSESSMENT

Emotional Connection

  1. I feel emotionally safe sharing my fears, frustrations, or disappointments with my spouse.

  2. We talk about logistics more than we talk about our inner lives.

  3. I often feel lonely—even when we are together.

  4. I no longer feel deeply known by my spouse.

Communication & Conflict

  1. Difficult conversations are postponed or avoided.

  2. When we disagree, it feels like one of us must “win.”

  3. Small issues quickly escalate or remain unresolved for long periods.

  4. I censor myself to avoid conflict.

Affection & Intimacy

  1. Physical affection has decreased significantly.

  2. Intimacy feels mechanical, strained, or absent.

  3. I sometimes feel rejected—or do the rejecting.

Shared Meaning & Partnership

  1. We rarely dream, plan, or pray together anymore.

  2. I feel more like a roommate or co-manager than a partner.

  3. I am unsure where our marriage is headed.

  4. I wonder—quietly—if this is as good as it gets.

SCORING

Add your total score.

Maximum score: 45

  • 0–10 | CONNECTED

    • Your marriage shows healthy emotional alignment.

    • Continue intentional maintenance.

  • 11–20 | EARLY DRIFT

    • Subtle distance is forming.

    • Addressing it now can prevent deeper erosion.

  • 21–30 | MODERATE DRIFT

    • Emotional disconnection is established.

    • Repair is possible—but requires deliberate effort.

  • 31–45 | SIGNIFICANT DRIFT

    • Your marriage is signaling distress.

    • Ignoring this may lead to resentment, withdrawal, or rupture.

IMPORTANT NOTE

Drift is not failure.
It is feedback.

Most marriages do not need an ending.
They need attention, structure, and repair.


If your score is 11 or higher, your marriage is asking for intentional realignment.
Order "Rebuilding What’s Been Drifting"

A 7-Day Guided Reset for Emotionally Distant Marriages
Order your PDF in the link below





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Dr Uvoh Onoriobe
Editor, Real Relationships Magazine
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Medical Missionary @ www.hhands.org
editor@realrelationshipsmag.com
Author of Emptied Cup. The book is a collection of inspiring stories of God’s faithfulness in the mission field.
Uvoh is a member of Christian Union Uniben alumni in the United States. He serves as Director of Healing Hands Health Society a faith-based organization with the commission of spreading Christ’s love through medical care to all people worldwide.

He has worked as a General Dentist/ Missionary for over twenty years, offering dental services across various communities around the African continent and other parts of the globe. He has had the opportunity to train in various tertiary organizations in the United States.

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